Contributor: Lacy Phillips
Photographer: Lacy Phillips

I’ve seen a pattern showing up in my practice where clients will ask, “I shouldn't list what I don’t want, when calling in a partner, since that will push them away or attract what I don’t want, right?”

Look, on a spiritual/expanded/connected level, I’m here to tell you that words matter, for they have resonance and vibratory intention that command your neurochemistry and penetrate down to a cellular level. Absolutely! There’s science behind this.

However, I’m also here to relinquish all fears and rigidity surrounding a Manifestation practice that speaking negatively, writing negatively, and thinking negative thoughts about yourself or others will push your subjects away. I’m here to lift the veil. To demystify nonsense superstition. I know that most New Age Manifestation books have militantly led us to believe that if we speak negatively or write negative attributes we “don’t” want on our list, then it will push away our subjects. Not true. Not true. Simply not true, so let it go. Embrace your humanness, where you are in this moment of consciousness, and realize that I’ve witnessed many people – including myself – magnetize intentions regardless of being in a terribly shitty state.

Manifestation is so much more than a list, good vibes, mantras, positive thoughts and visualization. In fact the latter parts of that sentence really have nothing to do with manifestation. What does determine whether subjects magnetize are: clarity, consciously communicating to The Universe what you want, expanded beliefs through seeing is believing, passing tests and lessons, and growing your self-worth into alignment with the subject you’ve called in by removing blocks, integrating, shifting limiting beliefs and worth.

Have you ever noticed incredibly successful people that have the foulest energy on the planet (The Devil Wears Prada Theory)? Negative, narcissistic, entitled? Notice how they aren’t pushing away their intentions and subjects with their attitude? How are they so magnetic? Because they live, breath, and sleep their worth. And they believe they are right.

Now, I’m not condoning dreadful behavior. But I will be the first to say that it doesn’t push away your manifestations. In fact, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: negative words and thoughts are an invitation to become aware of what needs shifting. It’s a little key into the shadow, which is in need of integration. It’s the beginning of the self-roadmap.

If you’re calling in a partner and you don’t want (for example) any addiction, you have my permission to fearlessly write on your list: “no addiction”. If this still makes you uneasy because of the deep rooted superstitious culture that New Age Manifestation has programmed in you, flip the negative bits to positive ones. So, if you don’t want “anyone that is selfish”, simply write “generous”. Though it doesn’t make much of a difference. For if someone selfish is showing up, it’s both a test and an invitation for you to explore and do the work to shift what limiting belief or low self-worth that’s attracting this person.